Okay, not all the time. But it's often enough that warrants a bit of concern. It's so stupid.
Stupid that I get jealous when I see photos of him with other girls online. Photos of girls who are uglier than me. None of it makes sense.
I would have done anything to be with him, but that was then. Now, I would give anything to keep away from him. But then the memories come. The dreams and feelings of romance, passion and comfort. The lies I told myself then, still haunt me now. Years later, and I am plagued with thoughts of him; images of him; longings for him.
I don't understand it. I cant grasp these feelings; they're too quick, too sharp. Him lying was the best thing for me, it gave me freedom.
Why has the freedom compromised itself?
I don't want him. Nothing in me needs him. Even-still, the thoughts come.
Get out of my head.
"Stupid that I get jealous when I see photos of him with other girls online. Photos of girls who are uglier than me. None of it makes sense."
ReplyDeleteJealousy is a sin that we all commit.
You are not ugly.
The part that doesn't make sense is how we all allow ourselves to feel that way. I've been your side before and it sucks. Realize though, you CAN make yourself feel indifferent for certain people. It's a long, hard and mature process. I believe you have it you.