Okay, not all the time. But it's often enough that warrants a bit of concern. It's so stupid.
Stupid that I get jealous when I see photos of him with other girls online. Photos of girls who are uglier than me. None of it makes sense.
I would have done anything to be with him, but that was then. Now, I would give anything to keep away from him. But then the memories come. The dreams and feelings of romance, passion and comfort. The lies I told myself then, still haunt me now. Years later, and I am plagued with thoughts of him; images of him; longings for him.
I don't understand it. I cant grasp these feelings; they're too quick, too sharp. Him lying was the best thing for me, it gave me freedom.
Why has the freedom compromised itself?
I don't want him. Nothing in me needs him. Even-still, the thoughts come.
Get out of my head.