There are things I don't understand.
To be honest, there are a lot of things I don't understand.
I don't understand why a man will ask for a girl's number, then never call her. I don't understand why some guys think that they are always right. I don't understand most mathematical equations. I don't understand women who treat men as objects. I don't understand "nice bitches." I don't understand why Americans call rockets "smarties." Clearly, our smarties are actually smarties.
I don't understand why I get jealous when I see a guy I'm not even that interested in going after another woman. I don't understand why I need attention.
I am intoxicated right now. In fact, I am so intoxicated, that writing this blog post is quite difficult. It's difficult because my hands are not working the way I want them to, so it's taking a lot of extra effort to type properly.
I'm most definitely drunk.
I like being drunk. I don't really know why... well, that's not entirely true. I like being drunk because my feet go numb. Yes, my feet.
Sometimes, I get really self conscious. I think about how much weight I've gained in the last few years - it's kind of disgusting, when you think about it too long.
I also get self conscious because I feel like I'm not as pretty as other girls. I've always been this way. I don't know why.
I need to be careful about what I say. Sometimes, what I say is taken out of context. I suppose that is true of most people, but, I hate it when it happens to me. I don't like being the bitch; especially when it's unintentional. I don't like it when people think that I am being malicious or dishonest. I always try to be honest.
I don't like fights over the internet or text messages... it gets too messy too quick.
To be honest, I don't really like text messages. I think they're destroying the way we communicate with each other. They serve their purpose, but they're destroying my psyche.
They're the over-thinker's worst nightmare.
Sometimes, I get sad.
Lately, I've been... well, I've been in this weird mood. This awkward, self conscious mood. There isn't really any other way to describe it.
I feel lost.
I feel like I am walking down a path
Eyes covered with a blindfold.
I don't like it.
Ever feel that way?
Like you're going no where, fast.
Aimlessly wandering, with no direction.
I feel that way.
I am wearing blue mascara.
I am intoxicated.
Once upon a time, there was a guy who told me I was brilliant.
I didn't believe him.
I still don't believe him.
You see, brilliance hasn't chosen to manifest itself in me. Maybe someday, but not right now.
If I were brilliant, I would be able to eloquently articulate what I aim to say. However, I am often unable to do such a thing.
Sometimes, simplicity is the best thing. Stop trying to be funny (I tell myself).
None of these things make any sense.
I have run out of words...