My Message to the Mis-Informed

You say that people should get married young because of sex. To me, this screams immaturity. How can you think that this is a good enough reason to promise to someone that you are going to devote you life to them as long as you live; till forever...

I understand that sex is an important part of being married, and you’re right when you say that it is a stumbling block for young people. Forget young people, it’s a stumbling block for all people. But sex is not just a prize to be won, and it’s not simply a goal that to be reached. Should we want sex? Yes. Should that be the reason we get married? Hell no.

Don’t you think that people should be able to practice a little bit of self control and keep their hormones in check? If being a virgin is something that is important to you, then it’s a value you’ll hold on to as long as you can. If you fall easy to temptation, then how important was this value to you in the first place? There are always going to be obstacles for you to overcome, but God doesn’t throw things at us that we can’t handle. And are you naive enough to believe that once you’re married there aren’t going to be sexual temptations from other women other than your wife? Married people struggle with sexual temptation too. Just because you’re “allowed” to have sex when you’re married, doesn’t mean all the temptations go away... And it doesn’t mean you’re gonna be able to have sex whenever you want. There is more to being married than the passionate act of love. 

Marriage is hard. Ask anybody. Even the best marriages have their trials. Getting married young means that you are going to have more years of those trials. Getting married young means that you don’t know the person as well as you would if you waited a bit longer before you married them. Do you want there to be a ton of surprises when you marry a person? I want the man I marry to be my best friend, not just my object for sexual desires. 

Getting married just to have sex shows personal and spiritual immaturity. Grow up a little bit.

Marriage is a life long commitment. When you get married, it’s not just your bodies that become one through sex, your souls become one too. You’re connected to that person. You have to be willing to accept that person for everything they are, their faults and all. You have to be accepting of them, and love them in spite of all their flaws. You have to trust them and be comfortable with them. You have to have a friendship, a strong emotional base to always fall back on when the passion isn’t there (because guess what, the passion wont always be there). You have to be able to talk with them, console them when they’re sad, and laugh with them when they’re happy. You have to understand their hopes and dreams, and be part of those. You have to compromise and change. Sometimes, getting married at a young age robs you of these opportunities, and you have to make up for it when you’re already married. How hard would that be? I cant even imagine.

Sex is a wonderful thing, at least, that’s what people keep telling me. I believe them too, because sex is a gift from God. But this gift is meant to be all things beautiful and holy. Yes, holy. If the only reason you’re getting married is to receive the gift, then its purpose is tarnished.

God has a plan. Maybe his plan for you is to get married when you're 35, or maybe it's in 2 years. In any case, the reason you get married shouldn't be to bang your wife, it should be because you love her.